5 Ways to Make the Holidays Meaningful

How many of you have a holiday season that looks like this?
*All hands raised*

Let's be honest, it happens to all of us at one point or another, which is why blogs about how to deal with Christmas stress about one of the most popular hits on the internet this Christmas season. So, let me add mine to the mix to see if I can help myself or anyone else find more meaning during their holidays.

What do you remember receiving as a child?

If nothing really comes to mind other than those few iconic gifts you'd been waiting months or years for, that's probably a good sign that things are not as important as moments or people. You probably can't remember all that your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends labored over, yet we spend a lot of time fretting about this.

Now think about a Christmas that was memorable to you? Why was it memorable?

The holiday season can be a whirlwind of events: decorating the house, saving up money for presents, shopping, attending activities, events, and special shows, etc. The list of to-dos seem endless. Can we ever do enough? No, of course not. Can we ever buy enough presents? No, of course we would want more if money and opportunity presented itself. Can we support every organization? No, of course not.

So let's take a step back and allow ourselves to accept reality. We will never get done everything we want to do, we will never visit all who need to be visited, and we will never make every gift meaningful and important. Phew!

Now that the pressure is off, let's talk about reasonable expectations for the holidays. More than anything, a holiday break should be a break for all. But breaks should also include family. Holing yourself in a room to block out the noise is tempting, but this is your family's holiday, too. What if their memories would not be complete unless they included you.

Here are five things that make any holiday meaningful to me:

1. Traditions
Christmas is not the only time my family have many traditions to celebrate, but we certainly have a lot then. On Christmas Eve, we eat Chinese Food and give and receive Jesus presents. These are religious in nature, but basically after we read the account of Jesus's birth in Luke, we write down "goals" or presents we would like to give to Jesus that year. Things we want to work on, like being kinder or staying more positive through a trial. Then we open one gift that has spiritual value. Scriptures, a CD of music with hymns of praise, even a new white shirt for the boys to wear to church. It's always been a special memory to me, and every year, I've taken these little notes and kept them inside a jewelry box. It's always fun to open them and read them before I decide on what I'm going to accomplish the next year to better serve.

Having traditions in your family helps bonds them to you, helps them want to carry those things on with their own families, which I am doing.

2. Special mealtimes and treats together
At Christmas, I think of decorating cookies and caroling with my family, at the 4th of July, I think about barbecues and fireworks and the red, white, and blue jello creations my mom always made, on Thanksgiving, her sweet potato souffle. All of these treats and side dishes helped make the holiday memorable to me. I am sure it took my mom many hours to go the extra mile, but her food never went unnoticed.

3. Meaningful Gifts
I still remember the Christmas mom made me a tie-blanket. It had dancers on it and little frilly ties on the ends. This was kind of amazing for her and she'd asked for help from one of the members of our ward just to do it right. I know she tried hard.

Another Christmas, our dryer bit the dust, and my parents happened to be visiting and bought us one. It meant a lot to me because getting behind in your laundry with two kids was murder. It was a monetary gift in ways, more expensive than most, but important to help us function the rest of the year. How many times do we give gifts that are laid aside after a week or even a few days of play? How many times do we buy things just to have a few "filler" gifts under the tree? Why? Why do we do this to ourselves and our wallets? It's stressful to think of all the things I can't give my children on a limited budget. But when I look at what they already have, I try to ask myself what could I give them that they need and could use for many months? That's what I want to give them.

4. Service
One of the greatest benefits of the holiday season is the opportunity to look around us and be grateful for all we have. In such times, we will see the widening gap of those that are not as blessed, not as loved and wanted. In these times, we need to invite, encourage, love, and give. Most people think of monetary things they can give or physical things, like gifts and necessities, and of course those things are still needed. But to those who can't provide those things, there is so much more you can give. Widows that are lonely, people confined to their homeless because of health problems, people that have lost loved ones recently and who might struggle the most with a holiday without them, children in unique situations, college students too far from home to return. What skills or talents do you have that could bless anothers' life? Sure you may not be able to pay for their next meal, but can you cut hair, help clean, visit and strengthen them with words of encouragement? There are many needs around us. No act of service is too small. The LDS church is doing an initiative called #lighttheworld and I want this to be a family tradition in our home, where each day of the season, we find one person to serve, one way to give. Here is an amazing website with a link to a 25 days of #lighttheworld activities you can do with children.
http://www.ayearoffhe.net/2017/11/lds-light-world-2017-childrens-service.html

Whichever way you find it best to serve, bloom where you stand and light the life of someone in need.

5. Time Spent Together-
Whether that's wrestling on the floor with your siblings or playing games until the late hours of the night or watching movies with big bowls of popcorn, these are the moments life seems to slow down. Too often kids and sadly, adults, hide away to their rooms, enjoying a little peace and quiet, only to seclude themselves from their family. Spending quality time with each other means putting away the phones and work and any distractions keeping you from spending slow, and sometimes painful moments with loved ones. If this is a new concept to you, leaving the confines of "your space" can be uncomfortable and miserable at times. But as we make time for others, it feels us with a sense of belonging. When my brother always secluded himself from the rest of the family while we played a game in the front room, his presence was missed. Reflect on how you're spending your times during the holiday. Who values having you around and misses your presence when you choose to bow out?

Let's reflect during the start of this holiday season what we can do to make this season more meaningful to ourselves and the people around us. I've always looked at Christmas as a time where opportunities to reach out or include others were missed. I know I am going to be more mindful of what happens each day and try to make the season memorable to both myself and those I love.

This Mommy Loves the Savior

This week has been really great. Vacation throws you off a bit, but I finally feel like I am finding a foothold in Mommyhood. It did help that I had a nice long break. :)

Today's thoughts are about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Yes, I know this is a mommy blog, but I KNOW I wouldn't be where I am without my Savior. I feel this is a debatable topic right now with alot of people, but this is my blog, and I am only here to express how I feel.

I was raised a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Saints, sometimes called the Mormon Church. Growing up in the south was difficult because so many people, including friends I went to school with, thought I wasn't Christian. That was really offensive to me at the time because Jesus Christ is the at the center of my faith. But as I've grown older, I have kind of stopped caring about what others think I think, and I have focused only on how I think.

As a little girl, my parents raised me to be kind to others no matter who they are and what they believe, and I really hope that as a mom, I am instilling all of those same values in my boys. The Savior exemplifies all that a person should be: kind to all, giving, humble, prayerful, thoughtful, prone to serve others instead of self, loving, obedient. I could go on, but really, it was more effective to read and learn when I was self-motivated to find those answers.

But I think about how I was raised, and by no means am I close to being perfect, but I am so much better off because of the teachings of Christ. The other day I was at the park with the boys and there was a group of teens behind me. Every other word out of his mouth was a cussword and in the five minutes I was in line in front of them I heard conversations about discrimination, rape, shooting someone, and a slew of other things I'd rather not mention on a mommy blog. Maybe I am ignorant, or choose to surround myself with good things, but I was shocked to hear teens talk so flippantly about such careless things.

I felt bad for judging them once I had moved away from the situation, but then it got me thinking about how they had even gotten that way. How could someone ever teach their children to be okay talking about such filth? But then I am reminded that everyone is raised differently and who are we to judge someone's journey.

And in that moment, I was so grateful I was taught the Savior's way about kindness, charity, and virtue. Sure, you can teach your children this without having a faith in anything, but how much of it will stick if they do not have a perfect example to follow. Jesus was perfect in all that he did, and although tempted, never succumbed. He is the example we look to when we need to know how to respond to a situation. Even mortal men cannot do that at all times and in all places. We are weak as human beings and I for one would not want to be the person that my children always looked to. They would learn some pretty horrible habits that I constantly work on. But the Savior, He has shown us the way. He is the Light and the Way. He is our brother, our friend, and our Savior and I am so glad my children will always have Him to look to.

I love these words of the Savior.
Doubt not. Fear Not.
For I am the way, the Truth, and the Life.
And in him, we shall have everlasting Life.

Mommies, it is tough out there and we need all the help we can get to help our little ones make it through the storms and trials just waiting for them. I can't close this post off without encouraging those of you that don't know your Savior to begin that process. Get on your knees and pray. Knock and He will open the door to everlasting life, a life that is so incredible, you cannot imagine its wonders.