Service Makes a Mommy Happy

Do you know one of the coolest things I have learned from staying at home? I have a lot more time to do the things I never had time for. That would seem obvious, right? But it's not how much time I had but how I have learned to use my time that is the key.

Mommies give a lot of their selves during the week. They give some of the best brain power to some of the littlest human beings earth has to offer. They also give their hands to hold, and lift, and clean, and wipe, their legs to act as a chair, a rocking horse, or any other moving creature you can think of, their voices, their hearts, their minds. We give a lot. Essentially we are serving those closest to us 24-7.

Wait, what? I love service. It buoys me up, makes me feel good, and leaves me wanting more. But, hold on. I don't feel like that every day? In fact, I feel the opposite. I feel drained, tired, annoyed sweaty, hangry, nauseous, angry even.

Not so this week. I'll try to pinpoint the exact moment as I write it, but I doubt I still understand, other than the fact that I involved my kids in serving others as well. Sorry for the journal monologue, but see if you can see a pattern...

On Monday, I babysat a friend's kid so she could go work out. Cameron got a play date...and I cleaned my house while they played.
Tuesday, I went on fieldwork with Freddy and we went on a hike. I took two other kids and Freddy. They had a blast and so did I. Cameron got to play to play with more friends while I was gone. Win, win.I also text Fred and told him not to school and we should get donuts instead. He gratefully ditched and we got 6 yummy donuts for under two bucks! (Love T-mobile Tuesday) Later that night, I taught my Self-reliance class and got to get in amazing conversation with adults. I miss that.
Wednesday I picked up a friend's kid at school. She was having a baby and brought her home and she's Freddy's "crush" in school. Another win. After naps, the boys and I walked to the park and played...beautiful day!
Thursday I signed up for childcare at the gym so I can actually go to the gym. :) Then I went to a church playgroup, ran a friend's kid to school so she could take her aunt to the airport, and we visited with family and ate dinner with aunts and grandparents. Grandparents are really grand and make life so rich!
And lastly, today, Friday, I started the day with teaching. I have signed up to tutor Chinese students at home. We meet for an hour and I attempt to teach them English. It's amazing and fun and hard. But I love teaching such respectful students. 6 AM teaching too! Then, I went to the school I taught at for nine years and volunteered in Freddy's class. I helped eight students learn more about reading, and interacted with adults! Win, win!
Tonight Fred and I are eating with family and then going to Thriller, a dance performance, and I LOVE dancing. It's gonna be awesome. And bonus, grandparents are keeping the kids so we can pretend we are just the two of us...just for the night. Did I mention grandparents are grand??
Saturday and Saturday we will attend General Conference, which is a broadcast from our church showing apostles and prophets speaking about principles of the gospel that will lead us closer to God. And that is always a really uplifting and moving experience. And of course we'll have good food with family, go for walks, and take naps, and then do all this all over starting Monday.

If you have stuck through this long expose, you'll know nothing extraordinary happened. But yet, this week has been one of the best of my full-time mommyhood. I feel balanced. I kind of went to the gym, kind of taught, kind of mommied, kind of adulted, kind of had a date, and kind of spiritually fed myself. Each night I allowed time to write and market. Each night I spent time with just Fred.

I guess instead of service, you would think a balanced life is what one needs to feel fulfilled, but I know that's not really it. As I have written this, I still know it's service. Doing things for others with no expectation in return in really what has made the difference this week. I love serving others. It feels a hole in my life I can't fill just by myself. It really helped me forget about myself and look outwardly. Those are so many people that need us. So many, and if we are constantly aware of others, we do not have time to be angry or sad or disappointed with what's not happening with us. Because every moment feels important. That service I gave to a friend to drive a friend's child to school or babysit for a mom so she could go exercise, or even when I read with a child is priceless and cannot be bought.

Have you made time in your day to serve? Have you looked around lately and thought of what little thing you could do? Stop saying no to people who ask you to give of yourself in a way you know you could. You can do it! And you won't be disappointing. The results of service is amazing. <3

Teacher Hat vs. Mom Hat

 

          VS






Freddy started Kindergarten on Monday. Though it doesn't show, he was super excited. Today, my thoughts are all over the place. I've got my mom hat and my teacher hat on, and it's driving me crazy.

Let's talk about teaching ... because that's what I know the most about it seems. Teachers dread coming back from the summer. Yes, they love having a routine again, are excited for a new class of excited kids, and to be away from their homes where they have probably binge-watched TV all summer, done spring cleaning, or kept kids alive 2-3 long months. They're excited, renewed (hopefully), and full of "gonnas".

At the beginning of the year, every good teacher knows that routines, procedures, and practice are vital to an effective school year. On top of that, they also have to somehow build a trusting relationship with each kid, help them learn and grow, and make sure they communicate any problems to parents before said problems get bigger.

Okay, that is a very familiar, comfortable hat. I am used to giving that guidance, that critique to students and parents.

Now enters my Mom Hat. Not used to this one staying on all day, and I tell you, it's a struggle sometimes to want to keep that hat on. But before someone knocks me for having a bad attitude, I have already seem numberless blessings and positives to staying at home and being there for your children in the young years.

I was just getting used to the Mom Hat that you wear in the summer...but now I have to adjust to the Mom Hat you wear for nine months of the year. Yep, there are two Mom Hats I've discovered. Let me tell you, that 9-month hat is a little harder to want to wear. And it's only the first week of school. Here is what I have gained so far in my vast experience (3 days) wearing the 9-month Mom hat.

It stinks!

It stinks especially if you have a kid that doesn't fit into the mold of the system. It stinks especially when their school schedule severely limits what you can do with your one kid you still have at home and what you can do collectively with the two of them. You are tied down...big time. I still have to get up like any normal working person does. I still have to look decent (although I totally went to the school today looking like a mom wearing Cameron's attempt at potty training on my shirt). You have to drop everything to follow the school's system schedule and with kids, that's near to impossible to do. Early out? That's a nightmare? Running errands in between an AM class when stores don't open until 10:00....frustration! Fitting naps in? Yeah, not gonna happen. I am sure I'll figure it out. But for now, it's a thorn in my side.

And lastly, everything that your child does reflects on you.  Sure, your child has to be responsible sometime, but not when they're five. That falls on the mom. Always. Teachers rarely blame dads...at least not to their face...because that is the mom's "responsibility".

I'm not gonna lie. Freddy struggles with sitting still. He's FIVE. He also is screen addicted and that plays into why learning activities can't keep his attention. (Yes, I do limit his screen time). But today when I picked him up at school, mind you...still third day....he had already gotten a walk-out with the teacher. You know what I mean....the teacher walks the kid to the car holding the kid's hand. Yeah, one of those.

Now before anyone says anything, this is no reflection on his teacher. I have worked with his kindergarten teacher long enough that I know she's good. She's excellent even and has a tough job. I even consider her a close friend. Maybe that's why this is a little harder to swallow. I go from Collegue/Friend Hat with her to Freddy's Mom Hat. Hard to take. Not that I don't want to know about Freddy...because I do. Just hard to take.

So here is what I've learned in all this hat business, and hopefully I remember these lessons when I return to my Teacher Hat...the moms who really do try and want their kids to succeed really take that feedback personally. I want Freddy to succeed in school more than I want to be a good mom. I want his teacher to reach him like I can't. I want someone to love him despite how naughty he can be.

And here's the Teacher Hat again...it's literally impossible for teachers to do this with all students every day....or even every week.

Here is the big revelation I've had about this whole hat business.

NO ONE is gonna love your kid like you can. No one is going to care how much they succeed like you will. Sure, grandma and auntie will claim they love him as much, but when they are tired and food-deprived and ready to send the boys home and be done, only moms can take over then.

No one can be a better mom to my boys than I can.

And that, my friends, is my two cents about mommying today.