Service Makes a Mommy Happy

Do you know one of the coolest things I have learned from staying at home? I have a lot more time to do the things I never had time for. That would seem obvious, right? But it's not how much time I had but how I have learned to use my time that is the key.

Mommies give a lot of their selves during the week. They give some of the best brain power to some of the littlest human beings earth has to offer. They also give their hands to hold, and lift, and clean, and wipe, their legs to act as a chair, a rocking horse, or any other moving creature you can think of, their voices, their hearts, their minds. We give a lot. Essentially we are serving those closest to us 24-7.

Wait, what? I love service. It buoys me up, makes me feel good, and leaves me wanting more. But, hold on. I don't feel like that every day? In fact, I feel the opposite. I feel drained, tired, annoyed sweaty, hangry, nauseous, angry even.

Not so this week. I'll try to pinpoint the exact moment as I write it, but I doubt I still understand, other than the fact that I involved my kids in serving others as well. Sorry for the journal monologue, but see if you can see a pattern...

On Monday, I babysat a friend's kid so she could go work out. Cameron got a play date...and I cleaned my house while they played.
Tuesday, I went on fieldwork with Freddy and we went on a hike. I took two other kids and Freddy. They had a blast and so did I. Cameron got to play to play with more friends while I was gone. Win, win.I also text Fred and told him not to school and we should get donuts instead. He gratefully ditched and we got 6 yummy donuts for under two bucks! (Love T-mobile Tuesday) Later that night, I taught my Self-reliance class and got to get in amazing conversation with adults. I miss that.
Wednesday I picked up a friend's kid at school. She was having a baby and brought her home and she's Freddy's "crush" in school. Another win. After naps, the boys and I walked to the park and played...beautiful day!
Thursday I signed up for childcare at the gym so I can actually go to the gym. :) Then I went to a church playgroup, ran a friend's kid to school so she could take her aunt to the airport, and we visited with family and ate dinner with aunts and grandparents. Grandparents are really grand and make life so rich!
And lastly, today, Friday, I started the day with teaching. I have signed up to tutor Chinese students at home. We meet for an hour and I attempt to teach them English. It's amazing and fun and hard. But I love teaching such respectful students. 6 AM teaching too! Then, I went to the school I taught at for nine years and volunteered in Freddy's class. I helped eight students learn more about reading, and interacted with adults! Win, win!
Tonight Fred and I are eating with family and then going to Thriller, a dance performance, and I LOVE dancing. It's gonna be awesome. And bonus, grandparents are keeping the kids so we can pretend we are just the two of us...just for the night. Did I mention grandparents are grand??
Saturday and Saturday we will attend General Conference, which is a broadcast from our church showing apostles and prophets speaking about principles of the gospel that will lead us closer to God. And that is always a really uplifting and moving experience. And of course we'll have good food with family, go for walks, and take naps, and then do all this all over starting Monday.

If you have stuck through this long expose, you'll know nothing extraordinary happened. But yet, this week has been one of the best of my full-time mommyhood. I feel balanced. I kind of went to the gym, kind of taught, kind of mommied, kind of adulted, kind of had a date, and kind of spiritually fed myself. Each night I allowed time to write and market. Each night I spent time with just Fred.

I guess instead of service, you would think a balanced life is what one needs to feel fulfilled, but I know that's not really it. As I have written this, I still know it's service. Doing things for others with no expectation in return in really what has made the difference this week. I love serving others. It feels a hole in my life I can't fill just by myself. It really helped me forget about myself and look outwardly. Those are so many people that need us. So many, and if we are constantly aware of others, we do not have time to be angry or sad or disappointed with what's not happening with us. Because every moment feels important. That service I gave to a friend to drive a friend's child to school or babysit for a mom so she could go exercise, or even when I read with a child is priceless and cannot be bought.

Have you made time in your day to serve? Have you looked around lately and thought of what little thing you could do? Stop saying no to people who ask you to give of yourself in a way you know you could. You can do it! And you won't be disappointing. The results of service is amazing. <3

Technology is the Killer of Mom Dreams

Today seems rougher than before. I don't want this blog to turn into a whine fest, so I'll just leave it at that. Today it will just be one of the biggest challenges I have as a mom.

The boys got a playground set from Mimi and Papa and was much needed because we have nothing in the backyard...nothing. Don't judge my grass. I know it's dead. I care more about the doors that won't close correctly in my house more than I care about dead grass. (There are five to be exact that won't close.) Some perspective for you. Papa put the swing set up before we left for Texas, and yesterday was the first time they actually played on it for more than five minutes. It is somewhat of a relief to have something for them to play with in the backyard. Going places has been nice at times, but I'm worn out of going places.

It's a lot of trucking around when you've got babies that don't know how to buckle themselves or even open the car door for that matter. But seriously, after ten minutes of playing, Freddy was bored. Of course Cameron loved it and didn't want to come inside, but that's the difference between my boys. You gotta love that they had no interest in actually swinging, only hanging off of them facing opposite ways.

Freddy is totally content to sit on the couch and watch TV for hours, but by the first hour, Cameron is done. Some parents might think having a child like Freddy is a dream. He sits quietly, watches show after show, but his inability to play really bothers me. I would much rather he be interested in playing in his room for hours, reading books, wanting to dig in the dirt. Everything Cameron loves to do. But instead, if the TV is not on, he is continuously asking me when it's going to be on. I do monitor the time the boys watch TV, but if he earns it through do learning activities, how can I keep it away? He is starting to play better in his room now that I have literally forced him to be in there with a "Don't come out here again" speech.

I don't get it. I used to love to play when I was little. You couldn't keep me inside unless one of my favorite Disney shows were on...but even then, I wasn't obsessed with watching them. I'd rather be swimming, climbing trees, playing with friends, etc, than cooped up inside.

(Probably why I am going a little bonkers) Yes, I know what you're thinking....then get outside and do things. That is harder than it sounds. Packing a bag sufficient for keeping my TV addicted kid interested, a bag of snacks to keep my food-obsessed other little kid happy, and then trucking them around from place to place, only to have them scream and yell and embarrass you in front of strangers you never cared about before until now. One's a terrible two...and the other is still asking when the TV will go on once we get home. See my dilemma? I know it's a different generation of kids, one more addicted to technology than ever before, but it really keeps moms inside and drives us nuts.

Last week when we drove to Texas with my dad, I made the mistake of bringing the TV for him to watch. I mentioned at the beginning of the trip that we would not watch a movie for the 20 hours we were trapped together in that tiny car. No, no, no.

But do you know, Mother Nature was not on my side most of the trip. Instead of wanting to look out the window at the majestic beauty of this earth, Freddy refused and looked down at his feet instead, just to be obstinate. We eventually had to start timing him. Ten minutes of looking out the window at nature for every movie. I know, it was pathetic...and now that mom-guilt is settling in thick. But seriously, I didn't get it. This kid was/is nothing like me. I love looking out the window and seeing the desert landscape....minus a few hours of Texas with nothing but ineffective windmills and oil rigs. Where did I go wrong in my raising Freddy that he is so heavily addicted to technology? I can't keep it away from him.

And the sad thing is, he behaves better when technology is on the line...and that breaks my heart a little bit. Cameron on the other hand could look out the window all day...singing and chatting to himself. He really is a cute little bug.

So I guess what I am saying is, technology really kills the dreams of what you have for your kids. You want them to grow up intelligent, intuitive, creative, full of energy, and driven. For one of my kids, technology sucks the life right out of him, and I will forever have to vigilant that Freddy wins that battle against himself. Any tips are welcome, but realize we do limit the time they spend...but I'm also not a perfect mom.