Teacher Hat vs. Mom Hat

 

          VS






Freddy started Kindergarten on Monday. Though it doesn't show, he was super excited. Today, my thoughts are all over the place. I've got my mom hat and my teacher hat on, and it's driving me crazy.

Let's talk about teaching ... because that's what I know the most about it seems. Teachers dread coming back from the summer. Yes, they love having a routine again, are excited for a new class of excited kids, and to be away from their homes where they have probably binge-watched TV all summer, done spring cleaning, or kept kids alive 2-3 long months. They're excited, renewed (hopefully), and full of "gonnas".

At the beginning of the year, every good teacher knows that routines, procedures, and practice are vital to an effective school year. On top of that, they also have to somehow build a trusting relationship with each kid, help them learn and grow, and make sure they communicate any problems to parents before said problems get bigger.

Okay, that is a very familiar, comfortable hat. I am used to giving that guidance, that critique to students and parents.

Now enters my Mom Hat. Not used to this one staying on all day, and I tell you, it's a struggle sometimes to want to keep that hat on. But before someone knocks me for having a bad attitude, I have already seem numberless blessings and positives to staying at home and being there for your children in the young years.

I was just getting used to the Mom Hat that you wear in the summer...but now I have to adjust to the Mom Hat you wear for nine months of the year. Yep, there are two Mom Hats I've discovered. Let me tell you, that 9-month hat is a little harder to want to wear. And it's only the first week of school. Here is what I have gained so far in my vast experience (3 days) wearing the 9-month Mom hat.

It stinks!

It stinks especially if you have a kid that doesn't fit into the mold of the system. It stinks especially when their school schedule severely limits what you can do with your one kid you still have at home and what you can do collectively with the two of them. You are tied down...big time. I still have to get up like any normal working person does. I still have to look decent (although I totally went to the school today looking like a mom wearing Cameron's attempt at potty training on my shirt). You have to drop everything to follow the school's system schedule and with kids, that's near to impossible to do. Early out? That's a nightmare? Running errands in between an AM class when stores don't open until 10:00....frustration! Fitting naps in? Yeah, not gonna happen. I am sure I'll figure it out. But for now, it's a thorn in my side.

And lastly, everything that your child does reflects on you.  Sure, your child has to be responsible sometime, but not when they're five. That falls on the mom. Always. Teachers rarely blame dads...at least not to their face...because that is the mom's "responsibility".

I'm not gonna lie. Freddy struggles with sitting still. He's FIVE. He also is screen addicted and that plays into why learning activities can't keep his attention. (Yes, I do limit his screen time). But today when I picked him up at school, mind you...still third day....he had already gotten a walk-out with the teacher. You know what I mean....the teacher walks the kid to the car holding the kid's hand. Yeah, one of those.

Now before anyone says anything, this is no reflection on his teacher. I have worked with his kindergarten teacher long enough that I know she's good. She's excellent even and has a tough job. I even consider her a close friend. Maybe that's why this is a little harder to swallow. I go from Collegue/Friend Hat with her to Freddy's Mom Hat. Hard to take. Not that I don't want to know about Freddy...because I do. Just hard to take.

So here is what I've learned in all this hat business, and hopefully I remember these lessons when I return to my Teacher Hat...the moms who really do try and want their kids to succeed really take that feedback personally. I want Freddy to succeed in school more than I want to be a good mom. I want his teacher to reach him like I can't. I want someone to love him despite how naughty he can be.

And here's the Teacher Hat again...it's literally impossible for teachers to do this with all students every day....or even every week.

Here is the big revelation I've had about this whole hat business.

NO ONE is gonna love your kid like you can. No one is going to care how much they succeed like you will. Sure, grandma and auntie will claim they love him as much, but when they are tired and food-deprived and ready to send the boys home and be done, only moms can take over then.

No one can be a better mom to my boys than I can.

And that, my friends, is my two cents about mommying today.