Wait, What? Failure Means I'm Winning?

Can I share a few thoughts about failure? Here's some Failure 411, taken from thoughts from Wendy Ulrich and Emily Watt's presentations. 

Failure seems like such a bad word, or it did until last week. At the conference I attended, I learned a lot about failure. So much in fact, that failure no longer has the same connotation in my head. Failure is something I'm actually looking forward to.

But I hadn't. In fact, failure in motherhood made me about ready to throw in the towel. Like for reals. I went a little crazy and I'm sure Fred was pulling out his vows and questioning his sanity. I just couldn't seem to find the happy in motherhood....because it's not there. Like, literally. Reread the word motherhood and I can guarantee  the word happy is not there. But luckily, neither is failure. But really, it should be there too.

Okay, enough yapping. let me share with you what I learned about failure.

First let's talk about confidence. Because usually people that have a healthy dose of confidence also have a healthy dose of successes and failures. I am going to try to apply this in my goals to become a good mom, but of course apply it to whatever skill you are lacking.

Confidence will increase when we have these four things:
1- A plan:  What is one step you can take toward that goal? What are your deepest values and intentions?
2- A learning mindset: Skills increase our confidence. We don't get those skills unless we fail...A LOT. Practicing failure is more important than practicing perfect.

MAYBE I'M NOT FAILING! MAYBE I"M JUST LEARNING.

3- Anxiety Acceptance: Anxiety is a normal emotion. You just have to decided that anxiety is no big deal. It happens and it is okay. And fun fact, those with anxiety usually perform at a higher rate than those that have no worries at all. 
4- Trust in God and ourselves
Above all voices in our head, His is the only one that tells the truth. 

So you mean all the bad days I've had since becoming a full time mom have not been a total waste of time? You mean that in those horrible moments where I felt my motherhood should be stripped from me forcibly that I was actually on the right track toward becoming a better mommy? 

Why yes, Jenny. That's exactly what I'm saying. 

So you're saying is all I have to do is try and that I shouldn't be afraid of failing because it's gonna happen anyway. And if I am doing motherhood right, I will fail a lot.

Yes, Jenny. That's what I'm saying.

Thanks, voice inside my head. Phew, do I feel relieved. Now seriously, do you think Heavenly Father would send us out here with all these tools and then watch as we fall over and over again. Nope. That's not how He is. He is the kindest, most loving Father you can imagine, and even though he might wince when we make certain decisions, He has allowed ways to grow from our experiences, blessing us with more time and more opportunities to practice those skills....until we are confident in that one thing. And then WATCH OUT, here comes another wrench he needs us to become confident in. But hey, now we know. Know we know it's all part of the refining fire that we hate and love so much. But here's the good news. You can now look forward to the next time you fell because it means you are on your path toward perfection.