The Key to Staying Sane in Mommyhood

If there is nothing that I learn from this process of writing down about my motherhood experiences, it is that mommies need to take time for themselves on a regular basis. Sometimes taking time for yourself has a negative stigma to others that may think it's the mother's job to always take care of the children. But I 100% disagree with this. If you want to see a mom fail at her job, never let her have her "me time."

I went shopping (escaped) with a friend tonight to "get out". I didn't buy anything except for four shirts for three dollars at Children's Place (I always get good deals there), but it was nice to walk around the stores we went to and get ideas, decompress, talk about adult things, and not have someone calling for me every few minutes. I see other parents wrestling other kids in stores and sometimes I am resentful that they are impeding on my "no-child" time, but then I also think they're pretty brave to take their kids with them and sometimes that's what you have to do. So then I smile at them and secretly wish them luck. And then I thank my lucky stars I have a wonderful guy at home that is willing to watch our boys whenever...and without question. I do not so easily give him his time when he asks to go shooting, or help out moving another family, but he's a great example and I am learning to become more and more selfless.

So I'm going to make a checklist of things mom can do when they feel like they're going to explode...because everyone loves checklists. :)

1. Walking...go to a nice neighborhood if yours stinks! (free and healthy)
2. Dollar movies...by yourself. I always thought that was stupid, but now I crave that quiet. Be alone. That's what most of us want anyway.
3. Work out at the gym (This is especially helpful way to keep you happy and healthy)
4. Walk around stores (Don't take money with you. Sometimes it's freeing just to look)
5. Join a group (Based on a talent or common interest) Public speaking groups, writing groups, comedy clubs, participate in a town play, church groups, knitting, book clubs, the list is infinite. Online groups are also a way to get out without stepping out of your house.
6. Treat yourself...yes I just said that. You deserve a treat for staying at home all day. If it is going to make you feel like you have to run it off later, then choose something healthy and yummy.
7. Go serve. I should have put this one first just because it gives you all the feel goods inside. Serving others is a great way to meet people, forget about yourself, and get some perspective.
8. Go to a park and people-watch...or read. I love watching others, but I haven't figured out if people like when I people-watch them. :)
9. Do something new that you've never done before. Try a new skill, sport, group.. It's amazing what we learn about ourselves when we are challenged and out of our comfort zone.
10. Get a sitter and go with your significant others. Too often, we leave our important person with the kids and we don't get quality time with them. Sometimes it is worth the extra money to get a sitter and make time for that loved one.

Okay, the key to stay sane in motherhood is make time for yourself. Your kids are an amazing part of who you are, but they are not you. There needs to be a person underneath, after they leave the nest, that you still are when there is only you. Be yourself, and occasionally "get out" and go be that person again.