How many of you have a holiday season that looks like this?
*All hands raised*
Let's be honest, it happens to all of us at one point or another, which is why blogs about how to deal with Christmas stress about one of the most popular hits on the internet this Christmas season. So, let me add mine to the mix to see if I can help myself or anyone else find more meaning during their holidays.
What do you remember receiving as a child?
If nothing really comes to mind other than those few iconic gifts you'd been waiting months or years for, that's probably a good sign that things are not as important as moments or people. You probably can't remember all that your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends labored over, yet we spend a lot of time fretting about this.
Now think about a Christmas that was memorable to you? Why was it memorable?
So let's take a step back and allow ourselves to accept reality. We will never get done everything we want to do, we will never visit all who need to be visited, and we will never make every gift meaningful and important. Phew!
Now that the pressure is off, let's talk about reasonable expectations for the holidays. More than anything, a holiday break should be a break for all. But breaks should also include family. Holing yourself in a room to block out the noise is tempting, but this is your family's holiday, too. What if their memories would not be complete unless they included you.
Here are five things that make any holiday meaningful to me:
1. Traditions
Christmas is not the only time my family have many traditions to celebrate, but we certainly have a lot then. On Christmas Eve, we eat Chinese Food and give and receive Jesus presents. These are religious in nature, but basically after we read the account of Jesus's birth in Luke, we write down "goals" or presents we would like to give to Jesus that year. Things we want to work on, like being kinder or staying more positive through a trial. Then we open one gift that has spiritual value. Scriptures, a CD of music with hymns of praise, even a new white shirt for the boys to wear to church. It's always been a special memory to me, and every year, I've taken these little notes and kept them inside a jewelry box. It's always fun to open them and read them before I decide on what I'm going to accomplish the next year to better serve.
2. Special mealtimes and treats together
At Christmas, I think of decorating cookies and caroling with my family, at the 4th of July, I think about barbecues and fireworks and the red, white, and blue jello creations my mom always made, on Thanksgiving, her sweet potato souffle. All of these treats and side dishes helped make the holiday memorable to me. I am sure it took my mom many hours to go the extra mile, but her food never went unnoticed.
3. Meaningful Gifts
I still remember the Christmas mom made me a tie-blanket. It had dancers on it and little frilly ties on the ends. This was kind of amazing for her and she'd asked for help from one of the members of our ward just to do it right. I know she tried hard.
Another Christmas, our dryer bit the dust, and my parents happened to be visiting and bought us one. It meant a lot to me because getting behind in your laundry with two kids was murder. It was a monetary gift in ways, more expensive than most, but important to help us function the rest of the year. How many times do we give gifts that are laid aside after a week or even a few days of play? How many times do we buy things just to have a few "filler" gifts under the tree? Why? Why do we do this to ourselves and our wallets? It's stressful to think of all the things I can't give my children on a limited budget. But when I look at what they already have, I try to ask myself what could I give them that they need and could use for many months? That's what I want to give them.
4. Service
One of the greatest benefits of the holiday season is the opportunity to look around us and be grateful for all we have. In such times, we will see the widening gap of those that are not as blessed, not as loved and wanted. In these times, we need to invite, encourage, love, and give. Most people think of monetary things they can give or physical things, like gifts and necessities, and of course those things are still needed. But to those who can't provide those things, there is so much more you can give. Widows that are lonely, people confined to their homeless because of health problems, people that have lost loved ones recently and who might struggle the most with a holiday without them, children in unique situations, college students too far from home to return. What skills or talents do you have that could bless anothers' life? Sure you may not be able to pay for their next meal, but can you cut hair, help clean, visit and strengthen them with words of encouragement? There are many needs around us. No act of service is too small. The LDS church is doing an initiative called #lighttheworld and I want this to be a family tradition in our home, where each day of the season, we find one person to serve, one way to give. Here is an amazing website with a link to a 25 days of #lighttheworld activities you can do with children.
http://www.ayearoffhe.net/2017/11/lds-light-world-2017-childrens-service.html
Whichever way you find it best to serve, bloom where you stand and light the life of someone in need.
5. Time Spent Together-
Whether that's wrestling on the floor with your siblings or playing games until the late hours of the night or watching movies with big bowls of popcorn, these are the moments life seems to slow down. Too often kids and sadly, adults, hide away to their rooms, enjoying a little peace and quiet, only to seclude themselves from their family. Spending quality time with each other means putting away the phones and work and any distractions keeping you from spending slow, and sometimes painful moments with loved ones. If this is a new concept to you, leaving the confines of "your space" can be uncomfortable and miserable at times. But as we make time for others, it feels us with a sense of belonging. When my brother always secluded himself from the rest of the family while we played a game in the front room, his presence was missed. Reflect on how you're spending your times during the holiday. Who values having you around and misses your presence when you choose to bow out?
Let's reflect during the start of this holiday season what we can do to make this season more meaningful to ourselves and the people around us. I've always looked at Christmas as a time where opportunities to reach out or include others were missed. I know I am going to be more mindful of what happens each day and try to make the season memorable to both myself and those I love.
Posts
