Life in the ‘Hood

Today's story brought to you by a dear writing friend and dedicated to all my mommy friends :)

Life in the ‘Hood

by Misty Sutton

She sat staring at the door.

You’re going to have to go out there eventually, she told herself.

She stood.

And paced.

She wasn’t sure if she could handle this.

She sat back down.

They’ll be waiting for you. They probably already are, she thought.

You graduated at the top of your class. You could have been like everyone else. Like your roommates and friends. You could have taken a desk job. Could have run for office. You could have been a doctor or a lawyer or started your own company.

Instead you’re here.

With this incredible—she shook her head—responsibility.

She glanced toward the window, the slivers of emerging sunshine beckoning to her from beyond.

You could run. Just slip away and disappear somewhere. In a matter of hours, you could be lying on a beach, a cold drink in one hand and a book in the other. You could just forget everything. Let it all go.

But they’d know. Eventually, they’d find you.

After all, what would they do without you? Everything would fall apart if you weren’t here.

They need you.

She buried her face in her hands. This wasn’t exactly how she’d pictured her life. When she was young, barely a freshman in college, she was determined to save the world. Convinced she had all the solutions. She was brilliant and capable and determined. Back then, she was Super Woman. But now?

Now was different.

Now, most days, she had no idea what she was doing.

And she was terrified that one day they’d all realize it.

Then turn on her for it.

This was so much easier when you were younger, she thought. When you had more energy. More confidence.

When there weren’t so—so darned many of them.

She shook her head, no doubt in her mind that there was already some disaster waiting for her on the other side of that door, some new and increasingly more creative mess that only she could clean up.

How in the world did I ever get myself into this? she thought.

Then knew.

It was him. This was all his fault.

The man who’d suddenly stepped into her life. Charming, and handsome, and vibrant. With those warm brown eyes and irresistibly mischievous grin. While she was still young and naïve, still ripe for the picking, he’d scooped her up and swept her away, determined to make all her dreams come true. Together, they’d save the world, he’d said. Together, they’d make a difference in a place where it was truly mattered.

And there were times, tiny moments, where she thought they had.

But then there were days, like today, that she wasn’t so sure.

Day where she wondered if they’d gotten themselves in over their heads.

But it was too late to go back now. They were all counting on her.

And she knew it.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and glanced at the screen. For a moment, she thought about calling him, telling him she couldn’t handle it. That, just for today, she needed his help. But she knew he was off fighting his own part of the battle, putting out his own fires. She had a part to play, and so did he. If he could fulfill his role in their little ill-conceived partnership, then why couldn’t she?

She took a deep breath.

Okay, you can do this, she thought.

Then stood and headed for the door.

There are days you’re going to fail miserably, she told herself. Days where you feel like you’ve slammed straight into a wall, where you’re convinced you haven’t gotten through to them, even in the slightest, and that they’re all going to end up as reckless deviants, destined to spend the rest of their lives in jail.

But there are going to be days where you see that glimmer in their eyes—where they say something or do something that proves they understood, that they were actually listening—and then all your hard work, all your sacrifices, will be completely worth it. Those are the days where you’ve won. The days where you’ve saved the world, even if only for them, in a way that’s most important.

She reached for the doorknob.

And as for those situations they seem to keep getting themselves into, the ones only you can fix, well… in the grand scheme of things, it can’t possibly be that bad.

After all, they’re only children, she said, then turned the knob.

“Mom!” someone screamed from the other side of the door. “Connor’s got his head stuck in the banister again!”

Oh my gosh, she breathed and bowed her head.

She slowly took her hand off the knob and tried to pretend she hadn’t touched it.

It’s going to be a long summer.

And that's all my mommy friends :) If you want to read more from Misty, she's an amazing writer and I'm currently reading her novel, When Darkness Builds. Check it out! https://books.pronoun.com/when-darkness-builds/